Meeting Other Couples
January 1, 2013

Yesterday, we discovered two more vanilla friends that are in the lifestyle. Considering we’ve only been doing this for less than a year and a half and have now found six, yes six, vanilla friends and acquaintances, We figure we have either very good Play-dar or just tend to gravitate toward sexier people.

1. Two weeks into us being in the lifestyle, we went to Club Sesso in Portland. A guy walked up to Bianca and recognized her from high school 17 years earlier in Southern California.

2. A very good male friend of Bianca’s started noticing sexier updates and pictures on her Facebook posts. He emailed her one day, “You remind me of some friends I have that have a really fun LIFESTYLE” [capitalization correct]. She responded, “Yes, Matt and I love our LIFESTYLE. How did you know?” His response, “It takes one to know one.”

3. One day, our car mechanic recognized our picture on another lifestyle website.

4. On a recent trip to Southern California, we went to Freedom Acres. The bartender happened to be a gorgeous girl I had a crush on years ago in high school.

5. A friend of Bianca’s from her pole dancing class said she loves to drive down to Portland to go dancing as much as we do. (We live in Seattle, three hours away). I thought this was unusual as it’s such a far drive but the place we go to in Portland is amazing and there are no good Lifestyle clubs in Washington. This girl lives in a small town. I looked up that small town on a lifestyle site, and there she and her husband were.

6. While talking to another husband while waiting for my wife at her class, we started talking about Halloween and dancing. I mentioned we went to Portland. He said him and his wife love to go dancing in Portland. I mentioned we go to a place called “Club Sesso”. You should have seen the surprise on his face…then the smile. If he would have been a vanilla, that would have meant nothing to him.


I have read people mentioning saying things to people like “Are you a friend of Ellis? (L.S. get it) Are you friends of Kasidie? People wearing bracelets, etc. None of these things are universally understood.

On a side note, I am now working on designing a bag/graphic/shirt that has recognizable lifestyle website logos on it without the website names. So it would have have half a dozen colorful logos that if you were vanilla would mean nothing. But if you were in the lifestyle, you would recognize them instantly. Opinions?


Anyway, my question is, what is a really good way that you’ve found to root your lifestyle suspicions from your vanilla friends?

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