Elevator Pitches?

Sitting at my new job, I was listening to Life On The Swingset Episode SS118.  As usual there many discussions on tap but one of them had to do with “Elevator Pitches”.  I had never heard of such a thing.  Granted in my lifetime I have only been a swinger for about three years total but the concept was really interesting to me.  Basically, an elevator pitch is a brief summary business negotiation.  ”I realize we are headed to a very intimate situation but you need to know a couple things.  First, I have (or have not) been tested recently.  I believe in xyz type of safe sex.  I would prefer that you do not go down on me but I would love to go down on you.”  This would be a basic example of an elevator speech.  Granted, I am not an expert but you probably get the idea.  Its brief.  It sums up who you are, what you like to do, and what you are not quite comfortable doing in a very short amount of time.

In the midst of contemplating if this would even work in my geographical area, Dillon (one of the hosts) begins roleplaying a situational elevator speech.  It was in that speech that I realized what I had been missing in my lifestyle experiences, or rather, I realized what I had been cheating my partners out of in their experience.  Confidence!

You see, as I have explained before I am naturally a very shy person.  However, in my private life I have been able to overcome this in the past by pretending, or possibly, acting would be a better word.  I acted as if I was someone that I was not naturally.  Not to say that I would fake life, but I would use previous acting abilities to sort of enhanced my own comfort level of the situation.  One of my previous endeavors was in the realm of medieval re-enactment.  In the beginning I was very shy.   I rarely spoke to anyone in my little group.  But in time I developed a persona that was epic.  I had a name that others would recognize.  I was still the same shy dude, but in persona.. I was very cavalier.

So why then would I be the least bit unconfident when it came to lifestyle women?  I think there is some truth to the idea that confidence is everything.  I think back to one of the partners that I spoke about in our episode 2.  I exhibited a great deal of confidence in the bar where we met them.  I was the one who proclaimed that we should go have more drinks at my home.  Then, I was the one that suggested that we continue to the bedroom.  We had a fantastic time!  BUT, the next time I saw her I was not as assured of myself.  I had doubts.. I worried.  That night, she did not seem as comfortable with me.  Do I think it was because of confidence?  Absolutely!

Back to the point.  The Life on the Swingset cast helped me to understand that when I go out for a night of dancing or dining with a nice couple that we want to pursue then I need to be that confident fellow that is ready to express my needs and desires.  Not doing so not only cheats myself but the couple that we are playing with because they are not getting the real me.  The real me IS confident.  But he gets shrouded in doubt.  It’s all in the packaging baby!

Jim

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