Why Swing?

Sometimes you will hear a new couple that is considering getting into the lifestyle ask, “If you are so into your own spouse, then what is the point of swinging?”  Its not a bad point.  I mean the actual ACT of swinging is a lot of work and at times it will test your relationship.  Many of us even say that we dont really look to play with other couples, we just wanna meet friends.  So, from the perspective of the new couple it would seem that it is a lot of risk for little reward.  The marriage is on the line.  Why risk it?

Well, the fact is that the possibility of wrecking a marriage is just as bad, if not worse, if you are a plain vanilla couple.  Many would say that lifestyle couples even have an edge in that area because as many of us know, you have to be able to effectively communicate with your spouse in order to successfully play in the lifestyle.  Lifestyle couples constantly check in with each other, to make sure that they are not stepping on their spouses toes.  They also tend to look for ways to pleasure their spouse, over their own needs.  So, what do they get out of swinging?

Social Circle

The social circle in the lifestyle is pretty tight.  There is a steep entrance curve and thus the reason that people generally blame the cliche for their non ability to enter the circle, but in time most people will make connections.  Jen and I are almost three years into playing in the lifestyle and it is only in the last few months that we have been able to insert ourselves into a good circle of people.  We are just in the beginning stages.  We abandoned trying to find couples using the local dating site and spent a lot of time getting to know the locals through the local clubs and Facebook groups that are associated with those clubs.  Giving others the ability to see what you are like in your vanilla life, will allow them to trust you in the lifestyle life.  Yes, it is scary to give them that access but so far we have no regrets.

Terrific Parties

Even if we werent meeting up with couples, I can tell you that the parties that lifestyle folks throw are the best parties in the world.  There is no other place that you can bring your own (cheap) alcohol, see half or fully naked sexy ladies, and dance to terrific music all night long.  If swinging was not such a taboo I would suggest lifestyle parties to even the most vanilla.  But seriously, LS parties tend to be more relaxed, more fun, more accepting and as a man, I know that I can trust that my wife is okay at a lifestyle party.  If something happens and I am not around, I have no doubt that the host will keep my wife safe (should something happen).  For those that arent REALLY swingers yet, you should know that if you are open minded then you are welcome at most parties.  Even if you dont play, you can dance, watch, and experience a terrific party.

Great Sex

It really all boils down to sex and finding amazing sex partners.  I mean, we seriously could have my other two suggestions without being in the lifestyle.  But as a swinger, I know that there is always the possibility that Jen and I might find a couple that we connect with sexually.  I love watching Jen having sex with another man, and even moreso when she connects with another woman.  It is always exciting to get to know another woman.  No matter how great your relationship is, we cant be all things to our spouse.  So, why shouldnt she experience a different lover.  Someone who performs differently than I do.  A man that might have a different energy would give Jen a very different experience than I give to her after a sixteen year relationship.  Ultimately, Jen and I are happily married.  We are talking about sex.  A very physical act.


All that said, I highly suggest that couples who are new to the lifestyle take their time when entering the lifestyle.  You have plenty of time to get acquainted with what your version of the lifestyle will be.  You guys can simply enjoy the environment and watch, you can play with each other and be watched, or in time you can play with other partners.  Being in the lifestyle is not an ACT that you do, it is a way of life that means you are going to be open minded with other couples and that you wont be judgmental with their experiences.



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