so about a year ago, me (M42) and the mrs (F41) take mojo upgrade quiz and turns out we both have interest in MFF, FMF, MFM, MFFM, etc. She is more interested than I am, but I am willing to give it a shot. So we create profiles on two swing sites, but both stall at the point of profile pictures. Mrs says she has decided that she doesn't want to do the website thing because she wants it to be more anonymous, and would rather go to a club. So we go to a club and nothing happens - the wife had pregamed a little and was funny and goofy, but didn't see anyone that she had any interest in. We left early, went to the hotel and had fun ourselves - no harm there.
She tells me about crazy fantasies involving exhibitionism, multiple partners, even gets off to me describing fictional situations to her while we have sex.
The talk dies down, and later I ask her if she lost interest in it and she says she has an issue because she doesn't want to have sex with a guy that is overweight. And that seems to be nearly everyone there. I bite my tongue because her weight has been (and is) an issue in our relationship. She went from cheerleader/college athlete to gaining over 100 lbs after college. She managed to get about 30,40 lbs off in the last 5 years but is still borderline bbw. She has actually put weight back on in the last year. She gets pissed at suggestions that she and I would be happier if she leaner, so I leave it alone. But the notion that she doesn't find other people attractive based on their weight but expects me to find her attractive with an extra 50-60 lbs, well - kind of pisses me off. I have made the mental adjustment to accepting sex with someone that I care about but don't really find physically attractive for her, but she isn't willing to.
by comparison - I am 6-1, 185, 32" waist - athletic build
I honestly wouldn't have ever brought swinging up because Mrs has been fairly insecure since college. But now that she did and isn't willing to play with someone as overweight as she is (when I am) just fucking torques me.
Am I nuts here?