Vanilla dates got you down

USA, New Jersey, Jersey City, Bored couple sitting at bar counter

Since you have been in the Lifestyle, have you noticed that Vanilla dating has become really boring? If you are like us, we no longer date each other as much as we used to. Back before we were Swingers, a Saturday night would consist of me changing into a cute dress, then we would go to dinner (usually Red Lobster- we were really in a rut!) and then we would go see the movie of the week and home and in bed by 11pm.

Then we met some new people and it became about once a month we would go to our favorite Mexican restaurant and drink, sing karaoke and then go dancing at the local gay bar. Now we would stay out till 12 or even 1am! Crazy I know! Since we were going dancing, my wardrobe had changed into something sexier but still not what I wear out to a party now.

Fast forward to when Matt & I join the lifestyle and now when we go out I have to wear an overcoat over my dress or take a bag with the outfit I am going to wear in it! Our nights have gotten longer as well. We are out till 3am or 4am some weekends! I actually take a long time to get ready as does Matt. I grab a drink and take my time. I don’t just touch up my make up like I used to. Getting ready is almost the foreplay of the evening to me.

I think it’s funny that there have been a few times we have found ourselves without children at the very last minute and we couldn’t hook up with anyone. So since the kids were taken care of, we may as well go have dinner and see a movie. UGH, how boring it has become! Matt and I have a great relationship and we have fun with each other all the time, no matter where we are. But put us on a vanilla date with just ourselves to entertain and we can’t get home fast enough. We have even gone out with our “neapolitan” friends a few times since our transformation and though we enjoy our time with them it is still vanilla. Yes, the girls and I go into the ladies room and show off our new bras, or they feel me up. But, again it’s still vanilla and Matt and I are yawning and ready to go home by midnight.

I love how exciting our sex and social lives have become. I just think it is hilarious how something that used to be so exciting for us (ohhhhh dinner and a movie!!!) is almost dreaded. Yeah honey, I guess I’ll go to a movie with you. **Yawn**

Do you still Vanilla date your spouse? What do you go out and do? Do you find it boring or do you find that you want to head home early because you are tired? How have you tried to spice it up when you go vanilla?


What do you think?

Written by Matt and Bianca


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The Best Thing…

“Are swingers freaky and deviant?” A great article in Psychology Today